Three Signs Telling If You're Turning Into Your Parents

   As teenagers, it's important that we realize that our parents aren't here to be our friends, they are here to be our parents. They deserve our respect and they deserve our obedience.Now, this doesn't mean that we can't get along with them, it just means that we need to obey their rules. And, more often than not, their rules are not ones that we agree with but hopefully obey anyway. Because of these rules, teenagers never get along with their parents as well as they do with friends. Those rules just get in between. Adolescents are just naturally stubborn and rebellious. Generally, however, as we get older that stubborn rebelliousness wears away as our parents good teachings rub in. Now, maybe its just me, but I'm wary of turning into my parents. Don't get me wrong, they're cool and all, but they aren't perfect like me. If you don't already know that teenagers are perfect, check out my other blog post, Perfect, at this link:

http://julyburnsred.blogspot.com/2012/03/perfect.html

I don't want to be an adult until I have to be. Sure I'll be responsible, but just because you're responsible, does not mean you've grown up. So, if you're worried you might become your parents, read on. Here are the three signs telling if you're turning into your parents.

   1.You've Started To Sound Like Your Parents
If you've started to sound like your parents, you're on the road to growing up. Man, I feel like Peter Pan or something! But seriously, if you're correcting your friends' grammar or telling them that you think its a stupid idea to stay up until three in the morning, you may be too far gone. And if that's the case, there's not much that can be done. Speaking professionally, I suggest you take a dose of adolescent hormones and call me in the morning.

    2.You Start To Wake Up Before 12 a.m. On The Weekends
You're not staying up late enough. Adjust your sleeping schedule to match the true teenager; sleep during the day, stay awake all through the night.

    3.You Remember
A good responsible teenager forgets important things. That's just the way it goes. So if you find yourself remembering when your next doctor's appointment is, I suggest that you start remembering to forget instead. Otherwise, how are you supposed to have room in the brain for sports stats, random annoying facts that will get you nowhere in life, and lines from all your favorite movies?

   Hopefully these few telltale signs will help you to remain a teenager for as long as possible. The results are guaranteed to last until your eighteenth birthday and, if your lucky, the effects may not wear off until sometime after. Remember, you may need to respect and obey your parents, but you don't need to be them.

4 Things The Twilight Saga Can Teach Us About Girls...

    A few years ago, my mother found the Twilight saga. I'm sure that all the guys out there are feeling sympathetic for me and I thank you. But it hasn't been as bad as it could be. I've survived, to say the least. In fact, at one time, I felt brave enough to read the series myself. After having plowed through four books of vampire/human/werewolf love-triangles, I emerged enlightened. I learned four things that guys could learn from the Twilight series about girls. These things don't necessarily solve the feminine mystery, but they bring us closer to understanding it. I have decided to share these four things with you in the hopes that you may utilize them in such a way as to make you more informed in your interactions with women. Here, then, are the four things the Twilight saga can teach us about girls:

1) Girls Cannot Make Up Their Minds...
   This is the first thing you should know. Girls cannot make up their minds, period. Not easily, anyhow. They take much time deliberating especially, as it would seem, when choosing between two guys. Take Bella for example. I realize that the girls reading Twilight never like her, but maybe its jealousy... I'm not sure. However, I digress. Bella cannot, for the life of her, stop leading Edward and Jacob on. She can't just make a decision, and I've noticed that this happens to carry on to most other females. Now that you have this knowledge, hopefully you can take advantage of it by having patience when dealing with those of the indecisive nature. Also note that girls like keeping men guessing.

2) Girls Like Men Who Are Neat...
   I don't mean neat as in 'mildly cool'; I mean neat as in 'organized'. One of the attractions Edward has to all the infatuated female readers across the country is his organized nature. His room is not all out of place, for example. He doesn't have random junk scattered all over his bureau. In addition, he has good penmanship; his own calligraphy, too. Now, not every woman can expect every man to be so inclined as to spend his time creating his own form of handwriting. But, it wouldn't be amiss for them to expect every man to take time improving his penmanship. Make of it what you will, but it would seem to me as though it might improve one's attractiveness.

3) Girls Like Men Who Are Physically Fit...
   We won't have superhuman strength in the way of a vampire, but keeping yourself in shape could certainly be in your favor. Running, push-ups, sit-ups; that sort of thing. In addition to being physically fit, girls also like men who are accomplished in some sort of way. The guitar, for example. Or the piano. Edward even goes so far as to compose a lullaby for his girlfriend. Chances are, however, she won't be impressed by your number of headshots in MW3. Just sayin'.

4) A Non-fiction Girl Doesn't Want A Guy Who Is So Obsessed With Her That He Watches Her While She Sleeps...
   Need I say more?

   If I haven't made any of these things clear enough, I recommend reading the Twilight saga for yourself. I've found them to be very instructive. Hopefully, you find them to be likewise.

~Ian James~

Pasta Stravagante: A Review

   Yesterday, I found myself in the mood for some good Italian eats and, having had a certain restaurant recommended to me by a good friend, I decided to head downtown the the newly opened Pasta Stravagante. Pasta Stravagante, Italian for "extravagant pasta", is seated in the perfect neighborhood. Arriving at 17:30 on an early summer night set the mood very well. The setting sun cast an orange glow upon the bricks adorning the face of the pasta eatery, as well as a beautiful reflection on the river situated behind the restaurant. As soon as I walked through the door, I was assaulted with many first impressions and, as those are the most important, I took my time to soak it all in. For a downtown, just-opened restaurant, the decor wasn't bad. The obvious vegetable paintings were hung on the wall; tomato, celery, onion... all done in a classical oil-painting style. This, along with ceramic chef statuettes, gave the place a decidedly American feel, as no eatery in Italy would be caught dead with such decorations on display. But decoration isn't everything. People come here to eat, after all, not to sit and stare at a porcelain chef wielding whisk and mixing bowl.
  
   After being shown to my seat, (I chose an indoor table, although outside tables overlooking the river were available.) I proceeded to examine the menu. It was chiefly composed of pasta, but this came as no surprise, nor was it amiss. Raviolis, tortellinis, macaronis, fettuchinis, and of course spaghettis dominated the pages, in coordination with a monster amount of sauces and ingredients. White sauces, red sauces, light sauces, heavy sauces; all were present. Shrimp, chicken, beef, and pork each took their places among the dishes as well. A good amount of kid's meals were included in the restaurant's available fare, too. Drinks were served in good number, to include wine, soda, beer, and assorted umbrella beverages. A Coca-Cola sat on the table as I scoured the menu once more in an attempt to find which dish would give me the best feel as to how this eatery's food was to be rated. The waiter recommended to me the Italian Sausage Fettuchini with Cream Sauce, but I ended up choosing the simple, yet seemingly elegant, Spaghetti with Red Meat Sauce. One thing that was certainly in Pasta Stravagante's favor was the English menu. Instead following in the footsteps of Olive Garden and others with an Italian menu that makes you feel stupid and uncultured while ordering, Pasta Stravagante gave straightforward, English titles to their dishes. How many times, I lament, have a been at a restaurant, ordered and then have the waiter correct my pronunciation? Not a good way to go. Pasta Stravagante managed to keep things simple, and rightfully so.

   While waiting for my food, I sat back and looked around the room. While I was doing so, strains of Frank Sinatra reached my ears. I payed more attention and, sure enough, I was hearing "Luck Be A Lady" emanating from a speaker in the corner of the ceiling. As time passed, other similar favorites sweetened the airwaves, including the well-known "Lazy Mary" sung by the even better-known Lou Monte of said fame. This particular song got me smiling and reminiscing. But I wasn't left to myself for long, as a steaming plate of pasta was placed before me. A generous pile of spaghetti, combined with a staggering amount of red meat sauce, threatened to collapse the table. The waiter served me a helping of freshly-grated Parmesan before departing to the next table. Not wasting any time, I grabbed a fork and dug in. The pasta was well cooked, with an excellent texture that spoke of its quality. The sauce, however, was what lent the dish its perfection. A tomatoey flavor mixed with that of Chardonnay and meat and an unknown assortment of seasonings. Beyond this, the flavor became increasingly difficult to describe and much easier to wolf down.

   I soon became full, and was left with enough on my plate to warrant a leftovers container. Quite satisfied, I moved on to pay my not overly large bill, grab an after-dinner mint, and step outside, full and happy. Pasta Stravagante did not fail to deliver, food-wise. Over-all, they gave me a very good experience. I would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a good pasta dinner. It's worth it.

Why I Love Senior Year - Part 2

   Welcome, friend bloggers, to part 2 of Why I Love Senior Year. We previously discussed how high school is not all that the Disney Channel makes it out to be. It's hard work filled with stress and Algebra-test last-minute cramming. But we also discussed some of the pluses of high school. Or the high-school-years, anyway. Youthful recklessness, youthful ignorance, and the like are vital ingredients to the 4 years of high school. They serve to teach wisdom to the future generation. In my experience, they do their job well. I have made my own fair share of mistakes, and have learned from them.

   But all that is past me now. I currently look forward to my eighteenth birthday this summer, among other things; most prominent of them being my enlistment in the the U.S. Army. After a one or two years enlisted, I look to be accepted into West Point. But that's a bit farther into the future. For now, I focus on finishing up my senior year of high school. My final year of, shall we say, conventional schooling. It's been an adventure for sure. Homeschooling the past four years has been an experience all by itself. It hasn't been easy, and many a time have I just wished that it's over. Now, however, that it's so close to being that way, I almost wish I had a longer time of it. At the same time, I look forward with interest to my career in the military. It's a sort of bittersweet feeling. I'm getting ready to leave home, in order to make another. Preparing to abandon one way of life so I might discover another.

Deus custodiat animam meam in hac nocte, ut vitae suae vires Evangelia cras.

God watch over my soul tonight, that I might have the strength to live His gospels tomorrow.

~Ian James~

Why I Love Senior Year - Part 1

   While some middle schoolers out there might expect high school to be the way Troy and Gabriella had it, those of us who are actually in it know the truth: High school is not that fun. Sure, there are friends, assemblies, and school dances but they are never held in song with choreographed basketball movements. The individual years can also be broken down. Freshman year is a time of going from oldest and coolest in the school, to youngest and most looked down upon. Sophomore year is better; you know what you're doing and you know have students younger than you. Junior year could arguably be one of the best; driver's ed is a definite plus, not to mention that you are still enjoying youth, but are getting older and more mature.
  
   But to me, senior year trumps all, hands down. A shorter school year accompanies getting prepared to choose a career; searching for scholarships precedes the college experience. It signifies one of the largest turning points in life. For me, senior year has been the greatest time of my life. So far, anyway. I've had trigonometry, the first type of mathematics I have begrudgingly enjoyed. I've studied prose and poetry from the beginning of the English language to its present, gaining knowledge from such masters as St. Thomas More, William Shakespeare (of course), Robert Burns, Geoffrey Chaucer, Ben Jonson, John Donne, John Milton, Lord Byron, John Keats, Lord Alfred Tennyson, T.S. Eliot and many more besides. It has also been an adventure writing this very blog. Business Technology has enlightened and prepared me for my future career. I have studied American Government, learning about the inner-workings of our country's bureaucracy. The History of the Constitution has also been very enjoyable. Over all, it has been a very successful year, and it's not even over yet. I look expectantly to the future.

Surviving Adolescence = Mission: Impossible? - The Three-or-Four Steps to NOT Dying Before You're 20!

   All six of the teenage years are guaranteed to encompass copious amounts of anger, frustration, stress, and confusion. Arguments, with both parents and siblings, are sure to be a common activity in your life. High-school, and possibly the beginning of college, will take up much more of your time than you would ever want. Community service, scholarship applications, and planning for the future will also be prominent ingredients to the recipe of your adolescent life. It's a constant mess of confusion and disagreements and misunderstandings and hormones and disaster and drama and tragedy and pain and horror and destruction and distraction and many other things besides. Now, not EVERYTHING is gloom-and-doom; there are parts of being a teenager that are to be enjoyed, but the rest remains true, also. You may be wondering the point of me saying all this. Well, I'm here to tell you that it what has previously been referred to as Mission: Impossible

is now possible, due to my new process called: The Three-or-Four Steps to NOT Dying Before You're 20! Allow me to introduce...

Step 1) Think Positive When Regarding The Future...

   I know that this is a difficult thing to do, be positive, but its absolutely necessary to survival. It's a teenager's best tool for motivation to get out of bed in the morning. Use it.

Step 2) Be Cool, Stay in School...

   While school may be the root of a lot of your frustration now, it will be the source of most of your success in later years. Need I say more?

Step 3-) Stay Out of Trouble... Of All Kinds!

   Trouble with your parents, trouble with the principle, trouble with the law or whatever; stay out of it! Otherwise, your only causing more stress in your life. The avoidance of trouble is the avoidance of stress; the avoidance of stress is the act of advocating relaxation.

Step or-Four) Procrastination...
   Its harmful to survival. It often allows a huge-blind side of disaster to sneak up behind you and take you out. Some people have said things like...

But I disagree. We all know Boromir was all about personal gain, not teamwork, anyway. So, in order to survive, I recommend not procrastinating. Why put off until tomorrow what can be done today?

   Well, there you have my three-or-four steps to NOT dying before you're 20. Hopefully you can put them to good use. They work.

~Ian James~

5 Surefire Ways to Win A Sibling Argument

   Every house has sibling arguments, no exceptions. I know this from experience. Its inevitable that you won't agree with everything your brother(s) or sister(s) say(s). Sometimes it'll be something legitimate, like whether or not your brother should be flipping knives around in the kitchen. But we all know that sometimes (okay, most of the times) it'll be something ridiculous like whether or not cats always land on their feet, or over who's fault it is that the house is a mess. Like I said before, I know how it is. Its foolish to think that siblings would get along perfectly. I'm sure that there are a select few that get along with almost no arguments, but most of us aren't that way. And, if you're like me, winning the argument is important. It could be a situation of life or death; whether or not you get taken apart when dad comes home from work. Thus, winning that argument might allow you to live to see another day. If you are interested in knowing how to come out on top in any argument with a sibling, read on to discover the 5 Surefire Ways to Win A Sibling Argument.

   1) Use Your Age To Your Advantage...
   This is an important first step to successfully convincing your brother or sister that they are wrong and you are right. If you are older than they are, use that to your advantage by saying stuff like "I didn't get to 12th grade by not knowing how to multiply!" or "I'm four years older than you! Do you honestly believe that I don't know what I'm talking about?" And if you are younger, there are still ways for you to pull weight that way. For example, try to act innocent, or play dumb/ignorant of the rules... Stuff like that.

   2) Remember Everything Your Mother Says Concerning The Rules...
   My younger siblings have an annoying knack for remembering my mother's exact words concerning various things and they are able to easily use this as leverage over me in order to convince me to share my personal stuff with them. I still haven't figured out to use this to my own advantage and have it backfire on them, but I'm working on it.

   3) Reference The Commandments...
   If possible, reference the commandments.
"The commandments say not to hit, and that's exactly what you just did!"
But be careful... Things can get thrown back in your face REAL fast.
"You hit me first..."
 See what I mean?

   4) Involve Another Sibling As A Witness...
   Get another sibling involved, if you have one, as a witness. They can often tip the argument scales in your favor. Just be careful that they don't switch sides, and help your opponent.

   5) When In Doubt, Blame Someone Else...

                                                             It works.

   With these five guidelines, you will be empowered with the ability to win any argument with any sibling. Use this ability wisely. By the way, results are guaranteed to work on a sibling, however, this guarantee is not valid when used on parents. Hmmm... Maybe I'll have to write guidelines on how to win an argument with parents. Nope. Forget it. A child never wins an argument with a parent.

~Ian James~

Perfect...

   This word can be used to describe me and every other teenager on the planet, with good reason, too. Three reasons, to be exact. Let's begin with one...
  
 1) Our Extensive Knowledge...
       As teenagers, we know everything. We even know more than people who have been around longer than we have, gone to college, and accumulated wisdom that only comes with age. That's a fact. That's why I try to tell my parents not to bother ever arguing with me. I know way more than they do, so its kind of pointless for them to even bother, especially when they should know they're going to lose the argument. Our extensive knowledge also includes our proficiency for technology. My parents aren't totally fossilized and my mom is actually quite apt, but still, there is no way that they could possibly be more intelligent than me. I'm a flawless 17-year-old. Right?

    2) Our Physical Prowess...
        My father is in the Army, so he has to keep in really good shape. But while he may be stronger than I am, I don't get sore back and knees. I can sleep on the floor without being as stiff as plywood the next day. And that's if I sleep at all. But beyond physical strength, there's something else. I can eat and eat and eat some more, and not gain a pound. My elders are not so lucky.

    3) Our Incredible Skill At Everything...
        Whatever your good at, we're better. This is, by far, the biggest part of what makes us so perfect. Need I say more???

   So, the next time you have to deal with a teenager, just roll your eyes and accept the fact that they are right and you are probably wrong. It's just life; there's no way around it.

~Ian James~

"Doesn't Mean We're Like That Guy..."

   Homeschoolers. We're different than most, and in many ways. We catch a lot of flak just because we do things differently. But really, we are just the same as every other kid our age, just educated in an uncommon way. The norm is, obviously, to actually GO to a school. Homeschoolers stay home. That's really the only difference there is. Unfortunately, people who think they know all about homeschooling, but actually don't, have woven this web of falsities around the practice of homeschooling. This, as is to be expected, annoys most homeschoolers.

   Recently, a video surfaced on Youtube that I would like to share. It is titled "Messy Mondays: The Seven Lies About Homeschoolers." This video is very well done. Nobody seems to realize the truth about homeschoolers except other homeschoolers, or people close to those who homeschool. This guy lets everybody know what's what, in a casual, comedic way. So, without further ado, I present to you: "Messy Mondays: The Seven Lies About Homeschoolers." Enjoy.

~Ian James~

Comic Relief: It Saves Lives

***Before reading the following blog, realize that I love my mother and I hope that nobody thinks other wise. ***

   My mom is one of the stay-at-home variety who homeschools her five children: me and my four younger siblings. Thus, we spend a lot of time with her; and, as with anyone who spends a lot of time with someone else, sometimes arguments and frustrations crop up on both sides. When emotions are running high in my house, everybody knows to stay away from mom until she cools down. This is stuff every kid knows, right? Right. But what if there were a way to speed the cooling process? There is. Allow me to elaborate...

   I can be an annoying child. On Friday, every Friday, the second I finish school, I can be hyper. Yes, 17-year-olds can be hyper. The prospect of a bondage-free weekend inspires a natural high in me. My energy level is increased by n and it needs to be released. So, I tend to make jokes that can be repetitive and obnoxious. I have a history of finding one 'catchphrase', latching on to it, and refusing to let go. For example, I happened across some Jerry Seinfeld and found a certain phrase he used that was very funny to me; "What's the deal?" Thus the title of this blog. After the umpteenth repetition of this sentence, I was driving my mom insane, and she got mad. Rightly so, might I add. Nobody's perfect, and I am certainly not the exception. So, she was driven to FORBID me from ever saying 'what's the deal?' in her presence again. This example shows you how I tend to get in trouble. But when I fall into the Pits Of Wrath, no one ever says I can't get out...

   Everyone gets in trouble with their mother, and every mom gets mad. But no mom stays mad forever. The sooner she has calmed down and is happy again, the better for the whole household. You see, when mom is mad at one child for something, and then another child has some other, smaller offense, the chances are now higher that he'll be in deeper trouble than normal. Therefore, the faster mom is happy, the better for all the children. But how to make her happy...?

   They say laughter is the best medicine. (Wait, who says?) I believe them. (Whoever they are...) Whenever I feel down, a good joke always cheers me up. This principle applies to just about everyone, including your mother. When she is in a foul mood, cheer her up with a good joke. To do this, however, you need to know the brand of humor your mother enjoys. Take my mother for example. She enjoys lighthearted, cute sorts of humor. Let me give you an example of a very successful joke:

   A duck walks into a hardware store and asks the clerk, "Got any gwapes?".
The clerk says, "No, we don't. This is a hardware store."
So the duck leaves. Next day, he comes back and asks the clerk "Got any gwapes?".
The clerk rolls his eyes and says "No! This is a hardware store!"
 So the duck leaves. Third day, the duck returns and yet again asks the clerk "Got any gwapes?".
 The clerk loses it. "No! This is a hardware store! We don't carry grapes! If you come here asking for grapes again, I'll staple your feet to the floor!"
 So the duck leaves. Next day, the duck returns. He asks "Got any staples?"
The clerk replies "No, fresh out, sorry."
"Got any gwapes?"

   So, next time your mom is in a bad mood, use this joke to cheer her up. Money back guarantee that it'll work.

~Ian James~

Survival of the Fittest: Younger Siblings

    Surviving having younger siblings is not an easy task. Certain difficulties arise once a brother or sister comes along. Annoying siblings, bothersome siblings, siblings who constantly have to do everything better than you can.; they exist. Don't get me wrong, I love my brothers and sister, but unfortunately, just because I love them, doesn't mean they are any easier to live with. I've come to realize that other older brothers and sisters run into the same problems I do. So, I have decided to make available my extensive knowledge on how to survive younger siblings. May it enlighten you.

   So, let's go into the new big brother/big sister scenario. At first, the new baby seems cute and innocent, but before you know it, this younger brother/sister will be causing you trouble. The baby will get more attention than you, it'll cause you to have more chores such as diaper duty, babysitting, etc. All I have to say about this is, hang on, it's gonna get a whole lot worse. For example, the second they learn how to talk, your time spent with them is going to be a lot more tedious. Uninteresting stories of not much importance that go on forever and are difficult to follow are only the beginning. Next, your brother/sister will be tattling on you, blaming you for things that you have never done. He/she will sing annoying songs making fun of you and the way your new braces look. Whenever and wherever possible, younger siblings will try to make your life as difficult as they can. Just know that they do love you, as maddening as they are. Let us now examine how to survive the onslaught of annoying younger brothers/sisters.

   1) BE KIND: No matter how annoying they are, be patient and loving. Don't shoot back some annoying insult as a defense to the snide comment made regarding the zit that decided to camp out on your chin. Instead of telling them that it's better than being a midget, why don't you a) Ignore them. (It's not that hard...) or b) Say thank you. I bet that'll catch 'em off guard. The key is making it less fun to annoy you. If they don't get the response they are looking for, chances are good that they'll leave you alone.

   2) BE COOL: If your brother/sister has respect for you and thinks you are cool, they might be less prone to insulting you in front of your best friend. So take them with you to the movies, share your stuff with them, etc. Being cool = Being embarrassed in front of your girlfriend.

   
   3) DO NOT BE SUPERIOR: Think about it, they only want a friend in you. They aren't looking for someone to monitor their sugar intake or someone to make sure that they're not playing video games 24/7. Therefore, if you don't try to be their parent, they'll automatically like you better. It's that simple.

   In closing, I just want to say that, no matter what, your brothers/sisters love you. To them, your a hero. But it's possible to be a hero who neglects his powers. So don't. They'll have some much more respect for you that way. Who knows? Maybe you'll even get along!

One final piece of advice...

The Three Steps to Buttering Up Your Parents

   If you're a teenager who, like most teenagers, often wants something from your parents, then this post is for you. Whether you're looking for $20 on loan so you can go to the movies with your friends, or just looking for permission to Facebook (is Facebook a verb?), chances are you'll want to butter up your parents in order to get them on your good side. Well, there are 3 easy and mostly foolproof steps to doing this. Allow me to enlighten you.

   1) BEHAVE YOURSELF:
       This may sound stupid, or just plain difficult, but its instrumental to success. If your parents are mad at you, or aren't impressed by your attitude, then you'll get nowhere with your endeavours. Be a model child, and your chances  of getting a yes have instantly improved.

   2) DO THEM (AND YOURSELF) A FAVOR:
       Helping someone else is helping yourself, in the long run. Think about it; if you do a good turn for someone, chances are good that they will be inclined to do the same back to you. So help your dad mow the lawn. Help your mom with dinner. Help them both by turning the stereo down. If you already do this things, kudos, my friend.

   3) BE STRATEGIC IN YOUR APPROACH:

       What I mean by this is that you should plan. Plan to ask your favor on a day when your parents are in a good mood. Don't ask your dad for money when he comes home from a stressful day at work, for example. Wait for the right moment; it'll pay off in the end.

   So there are my 3 steps to buttering up your parents; may they help you. Hopefully you can learn from them, and if you already use similar guidelines, good for you. Pacem in Christi.

~Ian James~