Sunday, June 3, 2012

4 Things The Twilight Saga Can Teach Us About Girls...

    A few years ago, my mother found the Twilight saga. I'm sure that all the guys out there are feeling sympathetic for me and I thank you. But it hasn't been as bad as it could be. I've survived, to say the least. In fact, at one time, I felt brave enough to read the series myself. After having plowed through four books of vampire/human/werewolf love-triangles, I emerged enlightened. I learned four things that guys could learn from the Twilight series about girls. These things don't necessarily solve the feminine mystery, but they bring us closer to understanding it. I have decided to share these four things with you in the hopes that you may utilize them in such a way as to make you more informed in your interactions with women. Here, then, are the four things the Twilight saga can teach us about girls:

1) Girls Cannot Make Up Their Minds...
   This is the first thing you should know. Girls cannot make up their minds, period. Not easily, anyhow. They take much time deliberating especially, as it would seem, when choosing between two guys. Take Bella for example. I realize that the girls reading Twilight never like her, but maybe its jealousy... I'm not sure. However, I digress. Bella cannot, for the life of her, stop leading Edward and Jacob on. She can't just make a decision, and I've noticed that this happens to carry on to most other females. Now that you have this knowledge, hopefully you can take advantage of it by having patience when dealing with those of the indecisive nature. Also note that girls like keeping men guessing.

2) Girls Like Men Who Are Neat...
   I don't mean neat as in 'mildly cool'; I mean neat as in 'organized'. One of the attractions Edward has to all the infatuated female readers across the country is his organized nature. His room is not all out of place, for example. He doesn't have random junk scattered all over his bureau. In addition, he has good penmanship; his own calligraphy, too. Now, not every woman can expect every man to be so inclined as to spend his time creating his own form of handwriting. But, it wouldn't be amiss for them to expect every man to take time improving his penmanship. Make of it what you will, but it would seem to me as though it might improve one's attractiveness.

3) Girls Like Men Who Are Physically Fit...
   We won't have superhuman strength in the way of a vampire, but keeping yourself in shape could certainly be in your favor. Running, push-ups, sit-ups; that sort of thing. In addition to being physically fit, girls also like men who are accomplished in some sort of way. The guitar, for example. Or the piano. Edward even goes so far as to compose a lullaby for his girlfriend. Chances are, however, she won't be impressed by your number of headshots in MW3. Just sayin'.

4) A Non-fiction Girl Doesn't Want A Guy Who Is So Obsessed With Her That He Watches Her While She Sleeps...
   Need I say more?

   If I haven't made any of these things clear enough, I recommend reading the Twilight saga for yourself. I've found them to be very instructive. Hopefully, you find them to be likewise.

~Ian James~